I don't know

I thought I wanted to blog and record my thoughts and feelings of the past few days. But when I revisit my heart breaks all over again.
My daughter is most affected by this. She doesn't want to be home. She wants her dad and she wants me. When she is here she wants to be there and when she is there she wants to be here. It is very hard to see her hurt, when I know I asked her dad to go. There is just so much...sooo much. I have been emailing back and forth with my husband...he is more open to communicate that way so I am going to post those here for me to look back on.